Tag Archives: leadership

The Forgotten Value Of Asking Questions

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I have observed over the years many Kidmin Leaders make the mistake of “arriving” in ministry.  They achieve a certain level of “success” and decide they know it all (or at least all they care to know).

When this happens, they move into protectionism.  They are constantly trying to protect their reputation as a “knowledgeable and capable leader.”  I have watched as these leaders begin to sink because they are not willing to do something that could help them keep rising in leadership – ASK QUESTIONS.

Admitting you don’t know it all and asking others for their input is difficult for insecure leaders.  Sadly, you miss out on incredible opportunities to continue growing when you fail to ask questions.  Here are some of the questions I ask and the people I ask them to:

My Pastor/Boss
*  Is there anything I am not doing in ministry that you would like to see me begin doing?
*  Is there anything I AM doing in ministry that you would like to see me STOP doing?
*  Is there any area of growth in my life that you see needs to be addressed?
*  What can I do to serve you better?
*  What can I do to serve my team better?
*  What is the biggest challenge you face in leading me?
*  How can I pray for you and your family?

My Team
*  What is the biggest challenge you find in having me as a leader?
*  What is the biggest thing you appreciate about my leadership?
*  What is one thing I can do NOW to help you grow personally?
*  How can I pray for you and your family?

The Parents In My Ministry
*  What are the ways we can serve you better as a parent?
*  What is the thing we do BEST as a ministry?
*  What is the area we most need to IMPROVE?
*  How can I pray for you and your family?

Take some time in the coming weeks and meet with your pastor, team members, and a group of parents in your ministry.  Ask some of these questions (and avoid the tendency to have a rebuttal to their answers – after all, the goal is to GAIN KNOWLEDGE, not prove them wrong).  They will be impressed with your desire to grow.  And, you just might gain some information you were not aware of that may take your ministry effectiveness to the next level.

What are some questions you ask yourself, your pastor, your team, and your parents?  Share them in the comments section!

Book Review: “Connecting Church & Home” by Dr. Tim Kimmel

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“Strong churches don’t make strong families.  Strong families make strong churches.” - Dr. Tim Kimmel

What is the center of your Family Ministry strategy?  Is it safety and protection from the dark influences of this world?  Is it reaching unchurched families through evangelism?  What drives your ministry to kids and families?

Dr. Tim Kimmel offers a one word answer in his new book, “Connecting Church & Home.” That one word:  GRACE.  Dr. Kimmel suggests that God’s grace can and should be what encompasses everything we do as a church – especially ministering to families.

Kimmel begins with the book with a challenging history of what has happened in the American church in the last 75 years.  As society has deteriorated, parents have felt more and more isolated and incapable of leading their own children on a spiritual journey.  Add to that – the church answered by raising up professional Children’s and Youth Ministers to “help” them raise their kids.  What happened more often was that the parents abdigated their responsibility to the “professionals.”

This book is challenging, but is a very encouraging read.  Kimmel offers a blue print of a “grace based parenting system.”  This is clearly defined as “treating others the way that God treats us” in every single relationship in the home.  Kimmel writes, “By making God’s grace the philosophical starting point of everything we do, we guarantee that whatever is done will be done within an authentic connection to our kids’ heart” (P. 58).

Kimmel’s strategy of “Grace Based Parenting” is broken into four dimensions:  Greatness (aiming kids at the biblical standard of greatness), Character (guiding kids through the building of godly character that will last a lifetime), Freedom (every child wants freedom; allowing the child freedom to fail, etc.), and Inner Needs (providing for the basic needs for love, security, hope, etc.).

Grace based parenting is a parenting strategy that seeks to produce heart change in the life of our kids.  This type of parenting results in kids who inwardly love Jesus and inwardly want to serve Him wholeheartedly.  Kimmel understands that if you change the heart – the outward actions will change to imitate Jesus as well.

“Connecting Church & Home” can be purchased here.

Check out this video from Dr. Tim Kimmel discussing his book:

Five Habits Of “On-Time” Leaders!

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Time is precious.  We only have so many years on this Earth, only 7 days a week, and only 24 hours in a day.  Sadly, too many leaders waste MUCH of the time they are given.  When you waste time it can have a negative impact on your leadership and your relationships.

I challenge you to adopt the five habits of the “On-Time” Leader!

1.  Arrive ON TIME!    If you are supposed to meet someone for lunch, be at a staff meeting, or attend an event – arrive ON TIME!  When you arrive late it sends a message to the person you are meeting that “I didn’t value your time enough to plan ahead so I would be on time.”

2.  Start ON TIME!
If you are leading a meeting or event – start on time.  If you say the meeting starts at 6, then start at 6 – not 6:04.  When you consistently start late, even if you are trying to be courteous to the late arrivals, you are training your people to arrive late.  You are also sending a value message to those who did make sure to arrive early that their time is not as important as those who arrived late.

3.  End ON TIME!
Nothing is worse than when an event or meeting is advertised to end at a certain time and the leader of the meeting becomes so engrossed in the sound of their own voice that they allow the meeting to creep past the end time that was announced.  The more your tendency to go over time in your meetings, the less likely you are to get people to return to your meetings.

4.  Redefine what ON TIME means!
All of my team (including those 5th graders on my Junior Leadership Team) can quote you my philosophy when it comes to on time.  I always tell them, “If you’re early – you’re ON TIME.  If you’re ON TIME – you’re late.  If you’re late – there’s NO EXCUSE!”  If you are a leader, you can’t be walking into a meeting or event right at the advertised start time.  You must be early to set the tone for the meeting and mingle with those who are attending.

5.  Expect the unexpected!
Allow extra time for unexpected details that might derail your plans.  This goes for when you are planning a meeting, planning how much time it will take to travel somewhere, etc.  If you build in time for the “unexpected”, then you will no doubt be ON TIME.

Are You Doing YOUR Job?

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As Kids Ministry leaders, we are passionate about our area of ministry.  We work hard and focus on creative ideas to reach more and more children for the cause of Christ.  This is wonderful!  This is what we SHOULD do.

Often, that laser focus and passion leads us to ignore other very important and fundamental needs in our church.  We must remember that, although our PRIMARY focus may be Kids Ministry, the BIGGER role we play is that of a member of our church’s pastoral TEAM.

I was speaking at a church in Texas several years back.  The Kids Pastor was doing some teardown for an event he had put on that took place in the Youth Auditorium.  He grabbed all of his equipment from the Youth soundboard, but started to walk away – leaving all of the Youth Ministry stuff unplugged (it had been plugged in when he found it).  I asked him, “Don’t you want to plug that stuff in so that your Youth Pastor isn’t handicapped when he walks in to set up his service?”  The Kids Pastor shrugged his shoulders and said, “That’s not my job – that’s his.”

This kind of attitude is corrosive to a team.  When you walk by trash in the hallway or parking lot – don’t say, “That’s the maintenance crew’s job.”  Pick it up!  When you see a projector has been left on in a classroom – turn it off.  Don’t leave it for someone else.

If you are going to be a solid member of a team, you need to remember that ANYTHING can be YOUR job.  Our main focus may be Kids, but our MAIN job is building the Kingdom.  That may mean stepping up and doing things that we never planned on, don’t feel gifted for, and are not passionate about.  It’s not about what makes us happy – it’s about building the Kingdom.

Stop doing YOUR job!

How To Avoid Kidmin Tunnel Vision

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In my previous post, I shared the dangers of Kidmin Tunnel Vision.  This is when you get so laser focused on Kids Ministry that you fail to keep the BIG picture of the WHOLE church in mind.  Today, I want to share how you can avoid falling into this trap!

It’s not enough to sit back and expect your pastor or other staff members to make sure you’re vitally connected with the entire scope of the church’s life.  That’s your responsibility.  Here are some steps you can take to Avoid Kidmin Tunnel Vision:

1)  Read every available piece of information. - Make it a weekly practice to read the bulletin, newsletters, articles on the website, and anything else that tells what the church is doing.

2)  Ask questions. - If you’re unsure about an upcoming event, a strategy, or any other plan, take the initiative to get an answer to your questions.

3)  Watch or listen to the Sunday morning service. - Most churches record the pastor’s sermon each week. If you can’t attend the service (and most of the time you can’t), make it a priority to listen to the message sometime during the week.  It will keep you connected to the pastor and to the heartbeat of the church.

4)  Pay attention in staff meetings. – Shut down Twitter, Facebook, and your web browser.  You are getting the info you need if you will just LISTEN and document it.

5)  Regularly pray for your pastor and other department leaders. - This choice has made a huge difference in my perspective, my attitude, and my relationships with each person on the team.  They’ve told me the greatest challenges they face in their ministries, and I found out their joys and struggles in their families.  My commitment to pray for them has kept me connected and prevented me from becoming focused only on Kids Ministry.

So, don’t hesitate.  Choose NOW to start these five habits.  They will keep you from falling into the trap of Kidmin Tunnel Vision, and you will stay vitally connected to your pastor and entire team.