Category Archives: KidMin Thoughts

I try to focus most of my effort on answering your questions about Kids Ministry. Periodically, I may get inspired to share some random thoughts about Kids Ministry or Ministry in general with you. If so, I will post them in this category.

Are You Missing The Trees?

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We have all heard the phrase, “They can’t see the forest for the trees.”  This usually refers to someone who is so totally focused on the individual problems, issues, or difficulties of life that they fail to see the BIG picture.  While this can often happen in the life of a Kidmin Pastor/Leader, I believe there is a VISION failure that can be even more devastating.

Sometimes, as leaders, we are missing the TREES for the forest.  We become focused on the BIG picture (the forest) and we lose sight of the trees (individuals).  Ministry is not ONLY about the BIG picture, it is also – and most specifically –  about the individual.

When Jesus gave the GREAT COMMISSION to His followers just before He ascended to Heaven, He said, “go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit.  Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you.  And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” (Matthew 28:19,20)

Often, we focus a lot on the global aspect of the GREAT COMMISSION:  ”all the nations.”  We like to think of big groups, large crowds, huge attendance.  We are trained that way – especially in the American mindset.  Everything becomes about the group, rather than the individual.  The larger our ministry group gets, the easier it is to start looking at it as a forest, rather than a group of individual trees.

We must never forget the individual aspect of the GREAT COMMISSION: “disciples.”  Disciples are not created in herds.  Disciples are created as individuals.  Jesus said, “baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit.”  Baptism is a personal and individual experience.  Oh, sure, you might put a lot of people under at once, but the experience is one of individual outward display of inward change.  “Teaching them to obey all the commands I have given you.”  Oh sure, you might be able to teach a lesson to a large group, but the only way you will know if they are “obeying” is by knowing each of them individually, personally, deeply.

I had a God-moment this morning while praying and studying.  The Lord challenged me to take a step further into knowing each of the children in my ministry deeply.  He challenged me to stop looking at them as a herd, but to see them as individual sheep.  I committed to do just that.

How about you?  Are you seeing ministry as a “group exercise” or “individual life change?”  Share your thoughts in the comments section.

How Do You Say “Goodbye” To Your Kids?

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It happens once a year.  All of our 5th graders move up to Student Ministry.  The Kids Ministry Staff and I have poured our heart and soul into each one of them for most of their lives, and then we send them on.

Promotion Day is a bittersweet moment for most Kidmin Leaders.  It is difficult to say, “Goodbye” to the children we love.  I have seen some Kids Pastors and leaders handle Promotion Day pretty poorly.  They turn it into a “cry fest” and begin to mourn the loss of those who are “moving up”, and the entire process becomes a sad event.

I once heard a Kidmin Leader tell his outgoing kids, “Don’t leave me!  You’re gonna be sad you’re not in Kids Ministry anymore.  You’re gonna miss me so much you will hate Student Ministry.”  I don’t think that Kidmin Leader realized just how insecure this made him look.  It was all about him.

We need to make the transition from Elementary Ministry into Student Ministry a positive and exciting experience for our kids.  This past Sunday, we said, “Goodbye” to almost 100 5th graders that were promoting.  We sent them out like missionaries to the mission field of Middle School.  We brought them to the front, lay hands on them, and prayed a commissioning prayer over them.

I told each of them, “I can’t wait to hear what incredible things for God you will do in Student Ministry!  Don’t wait until you are one of the oldest in the group to be an example.  Instead, from day one, be a leader in worship, prayer, energy, and passion for God!”  It was an incredible experience!

How about you?  How do you handle the “last service” for your graduating kids?  Is it a sad experience?  Or is it an incredible, moving experience that launches kids into Student Ministry?  Share your thoughts in the comments section.

Ten Rules For Dealing With Others

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I am sure most of you have heard of Dr. Norman Vincent Peale.  He is one of the more famous authors and motivational speakers of the 20th Century.  He had “10 Rules” that he operated under when dealing with others.  I thought it would be interesting to see how many of these you are practicing on a daily basis in ministry:

1.  Learn to remember people’s names.  People’s names are important to them.  Forgetting a person’s nameis often taken as a sign you are not interested in them.

2.  Relax and be a comfortable person to be with.  Make sure it is not a tense situation being around you.  No one enjoys being around uptight people.

3.  Learn to be an easy-going person.  Take things in stride.  Don’t let little things bother you.

4.  Don’t be egotistical or give the impression you know everything.  Work at learning from those around you.  Learn to respect other people’s opinions.

5.  Be an interesting person.  Be open to new things.  Take on new challenges.

6.  Smooth our your rough spots.  Learn to be gracious, polite, and tactful.

7.  Be a peacemaker.  Forgive.  Honestly try to correct every misunderstanding you are involved in.

8.  Overlook people’s faults.  Work at choosing to like others until you learn to do it naturally.

9.  Boost other people.  Encourage them, support them, congratulate them, and tell them WHY you appreciate them.

10.  Develop spiritual depth so you have something to pass on to others.  Learn to share this strength with people you meet.

So, how are you doing with Dr. Peale’s “Ten Rules”?  How many have you mastered?  Which don’t come naturally for you?

“Helping Kids Deal With The Tornado Tragedy”

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We are all in shock and disbelief about the tornado tragedy in Moore, OK this week.  Like many, you might have had the thought, “Wow.  That could have happened here.”  And, it’s true.  Tragedy knows no boundaries.  It does not discriminate between people.  Tragedy can hit any community, any family, any individual, at any time.

Aside from tornados – there are mass shootings, terrorist attacks, Earthquakes, and other tragedies that eventually strike every family.  The death of a loved one.  An accident that permanently injures someone.  The sudden loss of income due to layoffs or being fired.  These are the every day tragedies and losses that parents struggle to explain and help their children through.

This is a post that I originally posted back in the Summer of 2012 after the “Batman Theater Shootings” in Colorado.  It is a teaching I did for our parents on “How To Talk To Your Kids About Death And Tragedy.”  I thought it was appropriate to revisit this post this week.  I have included the outline below.

You can hear the audio of the entire teaching here:

Feel free to use this to teach the parents in your own church.  I pray it is helpful.

“How To Talk To Your Kids About Death & Tragedy” 

  1. Be honest with them.
  2. Use appropriate language.     Hebrews 9:27
  3. Allow them to ask questions.
  4. Allow your child to be emotional.   Ecclesiastes 3:4
  5. Be aware of your own need to grieve.
  6. Grieve together.  Romans 12:15      Job 2:11-13
  7. Don’t force an emotional response.
  8. Expect regression.
  9. Pray together.    Hebrews 13:5
  10. Remember that grieving is a process, not an event.

Five Habits Of “On-Time” Leaders!

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Time is precious.  We only have so many years on this Earth, only 7 days a week, and only 24 hours in a day.  Sadly, too many leaders waste MUCH of the time they are given.  When you waste time it can have a negative impact on your leadership and your relationships.

I challenge you to adopt the five habits of the “On-Time” Leader!

1.  Arrive ON TIME!    If you are supposed to meet someone for lunch, be at a staff meeting, or attend an event – arrive ON TIME!  When you arrive late it sends a message to the person you are meeting that “I didn’t value your time enough to plan ahead so I would be on time.”

2.  Start ON TIME!
If you are leading a meeting or event – start on time.  If you say the meeting starts at 6, then start at 6 – not 6:04.  When you consistently start late, even if you are trying to be courteous to the late arrivals, you are training your people to arrive late.  You are also sending a value message to those who did make sure to arrive early that their time is not as important as those who arrived late.

3.  End ON TIME!
Nothing is worse than when an event or meeting is advertised to end at a certain time and the leader of the meeting becomes so engrossed in the sound of their own voice that they allow the meeting to creep past the end time that was announced.  The more your tendency to go over time in your meetings, the less likely you are to get people to return to your meetings.

4.  Redefine what ON TIME means!
All of my team (including those 5th graders on my Junior Leadership Team) can quote you my philosophy when it comes to on time.  I always tell them, “If you’re early – you’re ON TIME.  If you’re ON TIME – you’re late.  If you’re late – there’s NO EXCUSE!”  If you are a leader, you can’t be walking into a meeting or event right at the advertised start time.  You must be early to set the tone for the meeting and mingle with those who are attending.

5.  Expect the unexpected!
Allow extra time for unexpected details that might derail your plans.  This goes for when you are planning a meeting, planning how much time it will take to travel somewhere, etc.  If you build in time for the “unexpected”, then you will no doubt be ON TIME.